Seeking Validation? It’s time to claim back your power.
Hello, gorgeous soul,
I feel fresh after a weekend of tarot reading at Windmill Hill Farm Market. The Farm is fast becoming my favourite city spot. When a call for volunteers went out to help set up the market, I jumped at the chance.
On a rainy Friday, myself and the crew lugged gazebos and heavy weights around the farm, placing them in the rain. Little birds washed in deep puddles, unbothered by our work. We were hot and soggy, but pulling the market together felt exhilarating. One of the crew took off her coat towards the end and we watched with awe as steam rose off her arms and back.
I pinch myself walking up to the market the following day with my suitcase. This is what a day at work looks like for me now. I've been reading at markets for about eight months, and self-employed for two. How did I get here? It's been such a journey. I place pashminas, silk scarves and tablecloths in my tarot area to create a welcoming space. I put on a playlist, chat with my market stall neighbours and burn my first incense stick. Laying out my cards, and taking a seat with a hot cup of coffee, I know it might take time before my first client.
Although tarot has entered the mainstream, it still carries taboo and fear. I hear whispers of folks as they go by. Young men shake heads at the offer of "seeing the tarot lady" stating "It'll be scary". Or, I'm approached by curious folk returning to my table, feeling a push and pull. Some folk ask how they can use their deck at home. I'll always share advice and knowledge, and point people towards resources that helped me. I'm not here to gatekeep. It can take an hour before someone sits down for a reading, and that's perfectly fine.
By the end of the day, I end up with back-to-back clients, connecting with beautiful souls, and sharing guidance with my trusty tarot cards. It's a humbling experience. I am still surprised I am doing this. As I pack away my things, a familiar person approaches me. I had read her cards a couple of months ago. She had been feeling stuck and lacked confidence. This time she approached me with relaxed shoulders, standing tall. She reminded me about the event she was organising for people with chronic illnesses. I can't recall specifics, but I told her it would be a success and suggested approaches. The turnout was above and beyond what she expected - it had gone very well. Sometimes a tarot reading is there to remind you how much potential you have, and to empower you to believe in yourself. That's the beauty of tarot.
The theme of validation came through in readings this week
Tarot can be something people turn to when they're seeking external validation. It's a natural approach. The desire for validation often stems from a need to feel accepted, loved, and secure. That makes us human. We are searching for reassurance that we are on the right path, making the right choices and that our feelings and experiences are legitimate.. This process can be helpful in some situations, providing us with guidance or helping us better understand ourselves and our place in the world. However, if we become overly reliant on external validation, it may undermine our self-confidence and prevent us from developing a strong sense of self-trust and personal power.
The only ones who can truly confirm we are on the right path are ourselves. Tarot acts as a mirror, reflecting our innermost thoughts, feelings, and desires. Yes, they guide us. They can also help us to access the wisdom that's been with us the whole time. But they don't hold the power. We do.
You are powerful.
You are divinely guided and supported on your journey. I promise you. Tarot readings are here to help guide you at opportune moments to empower and support your journey. Especially when you feel lost. Feeling lost means you're looking for answers and want something better for yourself. That's a good thing, even if it feels confusing and like something is missing. The only thing missing can be a deep belief in ourselves, that we are exactly where we need to be in the process of life.
When we pull cards, the reading has our best interests at heart, because deep down, that's what we want too. But we've all seen tarot on TV and Film foretelling demise and doom. That's not the reality of tarot. At least, not in my experience. Those scary cards aren't so bad, I promise. But there was a time when I was seeking validation so much, and I would seek so much guidance from tarot that I felt lost. I had to remember that I was the one holding the cards, not the other way around.
Tools to help claim back your power
Claiming back our power is essential! It allows us to live authentically and create a fulfilling life that aligns with our true selves. By reclaiming our power, we shift the focus from external validation to our own intuition, wisdom, and inner strength. It improves self-confidence, helps us to make confident decisions, live authentically, and feel empowered. Here are a few tips and tricks for you to claim back your power:
1) Reflective writing can process thoughts and feelings and help us to understand our motivations and desires on a deeper level. This work is especially important as we turn to autumn and winter.
2) Practicing mindfulness and meditation can help us to discern intuition from anxiety, and help us to tap into our inner wisdom and inherent power.
3) Daily affirmations can remind us of our strength, resilience, and divinity, reinforcing self-belief and reducing the need for external validation.
4) Self-care! Nourishing the mind, body, and spirit (such as yoga, spending time in nature, or creative expression) can help us to trust ourselves to know what we need. Remember, asking for help as well as giving it is a way to care for yourself.
5) Connecting with like-minded individuals who encourage personal growth and empowerment will always do you well.
6) Join workshops or courses focused on personal development, intuition, or self-empowerment can help you access tools and resources to deepen your understanding of yourself. They can help you to connect with your community too. I’ve got an intuitive course with Senses By Sim next month. Her work is incredibly inspiring.
7) Book an empowering tarot reading with your friendly neighbourhood tarot reader!
8) Notice when people are actively putting you down. Choose to deny their ‘validation’ and return the energy to the sender! For more magical tips and tricks on rituals to build your confidence, consider my booklet, Rituals to Release Anxiety.
9) Remember that progress isn’t linear. When on a personal power journey, we uncover layers of ourselves that can leave us feeling raw. Take gentle care of yourself throughout this process.
10) Have fun! There’s no point in doing all this work if we take ourselves too seriously. Remember to play and embrace the little things in life. Things don’t need to be perfect, enjoy the process.
